Summer Blues

I'm realizing sometimes I'm my own worst enemy. I feel as though I've spent the majority of the summer griping at myself for not being ready for the summer. Last summer, I swore to myself that I would be back in shape, full of energy, and soaking up summer for all it's worth. I spend the majority of my time inside, when I should be out enjoying the sunshine and water. But I feel uncomfortable. It's amazing how society has fashioned us into thinking you have to be a certain weight to be seen in a swimsuit. I'm even starting to believe them. I was mortified when I put mine on for the first time this year. I may be slightly in denial, but I don't think I'm what you would consider a "big girl", but let's face it, after a baby, things don't fit into a bikini the way that they used to! ;) I just wish society as a whole would start to be more concerned with what's on the inside than what's on the outside. It would make my life, and my summer, run so much smoother. ;)

But what I wish more than anything is that the process of losing weight and getting toned didn't have to come at such a cost to the tastebuds and the wallet. Why is being thin so expensive and so disgusting? Most vegetables just don't do it for me. And I'm learning fast that eating too many fruits only adds to my sugar and carb intake. UGH! I'm not sure WHAT I can eat anymore! And let's just get it out there that calling a diet, a "food plan", does NOT make it any easier. I'm seconds away from deciding that being skinny is not worth the sacrifices. Surely it can't be that fabulous! I've been there before, and didn't think it was all that! ;)

I guess I'm just venting today, and scared my summer is slowly seeping away without much excitement. I do plan to keep up my regime of eating healthier (yuck) and spending as much time as I can outside and active in order to get my physich back. I know it will be worth it. And I will be proud of myself for doing it. Honestly, the pride I have in myself for finally reaching my goal by next summer may far outweigh the actual feeling of being thin. After all, it's what's inside that counts, right! I would just really love for the outside and the inside to match! ;)

Thanks for the listening ear!