I Want to Be Two
I want to be someone in between
The me now, and the me before
and somehow, I am the me I've become
Because of this
Torn
Separated from my confidence,
Humiliated by my greed
Crushed by my lack
of self-control
self-restraint,
self-denial
I want to be two
The one THEY see,
and the me YOU see.
I sigh
Who am I?
Unfaithful
to myself. my future. my desires. my dreams
the real me screams
for you to understand
I want to be ONE
with you,
and the other
to save.
The conflict
so grave, the possibilities
to stand up,
only to fall for you.
not the one;
but the Two.
One for myself
One for you
leaving nothing for someone. . .
for who?
I want to be two.

When will I Shake this?

The fog is clouding my gaze
My life, this maze,
The weeks leave me
Dazed
Somewhat Confused
Was this Used
For Your Glory?
Would I not have looked up
Had you had enough
Of my wandering
My lusful eyes treasuring
Things that weren't mine for the taking
Now my heart
Breaking for the old frame
Of my life back,
I went, it came
I didn't take care
I wasn't aware
Of the tragedy
My heart
It's melody. . .muffled.
I move on
Carrying the beaten path with me
To a new place, a new Face
I gaze up, am I enough now?
Restore me, console me, prepare me
For my stand, my resistance
Your hand extends past the past
Into the present
You have wrapped up for me.
Make me strong
Cause I'm not on my own
Will it follow me?
Can I shake it?
The feelings, the pleasure, the pain?
It left two slain in this mess. . .
You. . .me. . .
When will it be through?
When can I take it
When will I make it
Why can't I shake it?