He Has My Heart

I have to say, being a young mom to a little boy is the coolest miracle in the world. Granted, I don't have any experience with daughters (yet/as I'm hopeful), but there is just something about little boys. Today was the first time that my 17 month old little man looked at me, and when I said (as I do so often), "I love you, Noah", he replied, "I ug oo". My heart swelled.



Everyday is a new adventure. He's sweet as pie one minute, looking up at me under those long eyelashes and poking out that bottom lip and whimpering, "hi mommeeee", and in one split second he takes on the personality of the Incredible Hulk and balls up his fist and strains even his neck muscles in frustration at me telling him "NO" to punching the buttons on the t.v. I almost can't keep up! ;) But I press on.

Being a mom to a little boy means having unending patience, as he is forever persistent. A trait that will grow up to suit him nicely, but is only an irritation now as he refuses to back down from leaving Daddy's DVD case intact. It means fostering that determination he has with learning how to climb up and down the stairs, knowing that that same determination will help him climb mountains in the future. It means being there every night to put him to bed, reading, bathing, rocking, singing, showing him there is a safety to routine, so that he will understand a time and a place for everything. Being a mom to a little boy means not letting him scream and screech with frustration now, so he will learn to tame his anger when he is older. It means saying and doing all the things we SWORE we would never say. . . ."Use your inside voice, son!. . . .Do NOT throw that! You're going to put someone's eye out!. . .Slow down!. . . .Because I said so!. . . .and my all time favorite, Don't make me come over there!" because you know I will, and you know I DO everytime. Little boys think it's the coolest game ever to have Mommy chase them, tackle them, tickle them til their cheeks are pink with glee and they've peed their pants!

I think at this stage in the game, my biggest reward thus far are his smiles. Not just the toothy grins he gives when he knows he's being mischevious, or the ones with the tongue hanging out, waiting for Mommy to tell him how silly he is, but the ones full of pride. For every few days, he will learn something new. And knowing when he looks at me sounding out a new word for him, and then repeats it back effortlessly for the first time, the smiles that emerge from my showers of praise are worth every sleepless night, every temper tantrum, and every ache and pain of childbirth. When my little man claps his hands and squeals, "YAAAAAY!" at himself for learning something new, is by far the greatest miracle in the world. I know I had a hand in it. And his smiles of pride melt me everytime.

I know he will continue to learn new things. I know he will continue to try my patience, push his boundaries, and do what all little boys do best. . .Make their Mommy's crazy! :) And I can't wait to sit in the sidelines and be a small part of the cheerleader, the driver, the teacher, the friend, the comforter, and the mom. Because I'm not sure when it happenned. Maybe it was the first time he took a step on his own. Or the first time he said "Mommy". Or the way I feel when I see the way he looks at my husband, so adoring. But at some point in time along the way, I realized just how much I love being a mom to a little boy. For if it's one thing I'm certain of, it's this. This little man forever has my heart.