Waiting for Micah

Today marks the day I am officially FULL-TERM with my second little boy, and let me tell you, I did NOT see this day coming last year at this time! We weren't entirely "planning" on a second child this soon, but God has a sense of humor and a divine plan, and we are thrilled to be a part of it. Noah will officially be a big brother in less than two weeks. Truthfully, that brings all sorts of emotions to my mind. My "baby" will not be my baby anymore. He tells me constantly, "I'm a big boy, Mommy!" Just the fact that he is old enough to utter those words brings tears to my eyes someday. I always thought it was cheesy when my parents used to say, "We remember it like it was yesterday when we brought YOU home from the hospital!" And though it's only been 2 and a half years, it seems like only yesterday that it was Noah kicking inside my tummy. I remember feeling so excited and so nervous about being a mom. I guess I'm starting to get the basics down! ;) Some days, that's up for question! But a Mom to TWO boys? How is that supposed to work?? Noah still demands so much of me, and shortly, there will be TWO little men that God has given me the responsibility of raising up into men of God. That job and that privelege is too much for me to comprehend. It's enough for me to wake up everyday and just try to love them the best I know how. Noah is going through all kinds of phases right now. Most of which are not pleasant. I'd say the terrible twos are definitely among us. He is super independant, yet not that resourceful on his own, which makes for a very irritating time at home. He wants to put his OWN shoes on, open the door HIMSELF, peel the banana HIS way, put his toys away in HIS time, and quite frankly, I wish somedays that he wasn't so persistant. I yearn for the babyness to come back where he wanted Mommy to do it all for him, because that sped up the process and caused for a lot less patience. LOL. But, I know in the long run, he is learning to depend on himself. He is teaching himself that he CAN do all things. Although it's aggravating sometimes, it's wonderful to see and be a part of.

But here I sit, typing as this new little man has the hiccups in my stomach. We have no idea what he looks like, who he will act like, or what he will become, but we are full of anticipation for what the coming months will look like for our family of four. I'm sure there will be days of exhaustion and days of energy. I pray the days of energy and enthusiasm are plenty! I'm on maternity leave early waiting on Micah to get here. The days and moments are dragging by and I so wish I could hold him already. I can't wait to see how much he reminds me of Noah. Those first few weeks are so precious, and since I'm not sure if my adorable husband will let me endure pregnancy ever again, I need to savor all the moments I can because Micah may be my last little miracle. I am nervous about how having a second child will change the dynamics of the family and marriage, but I also trust that God has had his hand in this from the very beginning. I know he is the giver of life. I'm so blessed that he's chosen me again. So as I'm waiting for Micah, I'm also in pursuit of His plan. God, show me all that you want me to accomplish by being a mom to this new little man. Shower me with your patience, compassion, love, and kindness as I take on this new journey and allow me to feel your presence every step of the way. Be a Father to me so I can mother these boys. Let that love spill over into everything I do for them so that when they grow up, they can't possibly look at me without also seeing YOU.

Amen